


Caught in a Loop (and you're the only one who can break me out)

by BattleAngel



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Don't really know how to tag this one, Suicide, Time Shenanigans, bloodies, fluff interspersed with angst, just me projecting my angsty lonely self upon the unsuspecting sunshine children, no happy ending, or maybe some bandaids, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleAngel/pseuds/BattleAngel
Summary: The beating of his heart echoed in his ears.He looked back down to Marinette, her cheeks flushed with color, her lashes fluttering a little in the movement of his breathing.Her face screamed life, living, flourishing. He could feel her heart too, beating against his chest, her breath whooshing in and out between her barely parted lips.Her lips pulsated with the blood that flowed beneath them, circulating with every beat of her heart.Everything about her is alive. The way she ought to be, the way they both ought to be.If only.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	Caught in a Loop (and you're the only one who can break me out)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my angst party. Don't be fooled by the fluffies.   
> AKA the plot bunny badgered me til I made a new google doc then left, never to be seen again.

“Marinette, do you have everything you need?” Mme. Cheng bustled around Marinette’s room, scanning nooks and crannies for anything her daughter had forgotten.

“Yes, Maman,” Marinette called from downstairs.

“Are you sure? Maybe another outfit, just in case?”

“Maman,” Marinette poked her head up the trapdoor to see her mother rifling through her closet. “It’s only three days. I’ve already got enough clothes in here to last a week,” she gestured to the ginormous suitcase waiting at the bottom of the stairs. 

Mme. Cheng turned to her daughter and wrung her hands. “Oh, I know, sweetie, But just think, it’s your first trip out of the country without your father and I! The last time you did anything big like this you were ten! Imagine how travel might have changed since then. You must be prepared!”

“Maman, calm down,” Marinette laughed. “It’s three days in Belgium. I’ll be with Alya, and you know she’ll bring anything and everything one could possibly need. It’s our senior trip!”

“Hmph. Well, get downstairs and say goodbye to your father. I’ll be down in a minute.”

A flurry of footsteps sounded as Marinette closed the trapdoor and rushed downstairs. Mme. Cheng stayed and looked around Marinette’s room a minute. What with all the akumas these days, Mme. Cheng had tried to convince her daughter to put a lock on the trapdoor above her bed, but she put it off, saying the cold night air helped her think.

Her daughter was growing up.

Out the window, she saw a familiar silver sedan pull up outside the bakery. Mme. Cheng rushed downstairs to give her daughter a hug and a peck on the head, whispering “Be careful,” in her ear.

“Always, Maman,” Marinette said. 

The bakery door jingled as Adrien poked in head in. 

“Hey, Marinette, Mme. and M. Dupain-Cheng. Mari, can I grab anything for you?”

Marinette untangled herself from her parent’s embrace to wave at Adrien. She gestured to her humongous pink suitcase, saying “A strong kitty like you wouldn’t mind hauling that, would he?”

“My pleasure, Princesse,” he said with a wink, lugging the suitcase over his shoulder. He’d grown since they met in collège, tall and broad-shouldered, with a jawline that could cut diamond. 

-[]-

_ “M-Marinette? You’re Ladybug?” _

_ “Is… is that okay, Chat?” _

_ “Dieu. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Princesse, I was so torn.” He grinned. “But now I don’t have to be. Here.” _

_ A flash of green light illuminated Marinette’s dark bedroom. _

_ “A-Adrien?! Oh mon Dieu. Oh merde. I-I’ve been kissing Adrien this whole time? Oh merde.” _

_ “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, Princesse, but Ladyb- I mean, well…” he laughed awkwardly. _

_ “Oh. I’m sorry. If only we’d done this sooner. How am I going to explain to Alya switching my affections from ‘Chad Black’ to Adrien again? She’ll think I’m so finicky. You can only have one boyfriend, you know.” _

_ “Boyfriend?” _

_ “Yep. You don’t have a choice now.” _

_ Adrien giggled, and snuggled deeper into the covers of Marinette’s bed.  _

_ “Okay. Sounds good to me.” _

_ Marinette grinned, then pecked a kiss on his forehead.  _

_ “Are you still staying tonight? It’s Friday.” _

_ “If you don’t mind a perfect stranger sleeping next to you.” _

_ “Silly kitty. You’re not a stranger.” _

_ They smiled at each other in the darkness. No more secrets. _

-[]-

“Nino and Alya are in the car. You ready to go?”

“Yep. Bye, Maman, Papa!”

The door jangled shut.

Adrien opened the car door for her as she slid in beside Alya and Nino, who were chatting excitedly about the trip. Adrien came around after some work stuffing Marinette’s suitcase in the backseat with the others. He sat in the passenger seat beside the Gorilla and easily inserted himself in the conversation. 

They arrived at the train station after twenty minutes of invigorating debate about the pros and cons of sharing hotel rooms. They checked their bags and went into their class’s train car, couples doubling up. Marinette took the window seat, as Adrien had to let his long legs jut out into the aisle. 

They turned their heads to whisper to each other.

“You’d know more about this than I would. Are we going to be able to leave France?” Marinette whispered.

“I honestly have no idea. I’ve been staying in France in case of an akuma attack. What did you get lined up for these three days, anyway?”

“Luka and Kagami aren’t at Collège Françoise Dupont, so I asked if Viperon and Ryuko could watch over Paris for a little while.”

“Clever bug,” he grinned. “I hope Belgium’s quiet.”

“Mm, me too,” she snuggled into his shoulder. “I’m going to catch a quick catnap. It’s a four hour ride, y’know.”

She saw his devilish grin.

“No. No puns. Don’t you dare.”

“Fine, fine. Get some rest, M’Lady.”

Her eyes closed, and the rocking and clattering or the train lulled her to sleep almost instantly. Adrien gazed down at her fondly. 

Marinette had grown too, and having her hair styled up in a high ponytail is her new norm. Her long, dark lashes folded over her crystal, sky-blue eyes, and full lips cracked slightly to allow breaths of air. There was a fading, purplish bruise adorning her head right behind her left ear, Adrien knew. An attempt to take her miraculous gone wrong. 

They both have so many scars now.

-[]-

_ “CHAT!” Her scream of terror echoes as Chat Noir is flung back, a crimson spray snapping through the air like a whip. He crunched against the side of a car and flopped to the ground, like a marionette with its strings cut. Blood pools around him, reflecting the stormy skies above.  _

_ The akuma roars, pulling her attention back to it just in time for her to flip out of the path of a ginormous scimitar, slicing through the place where her head was a moment before.  _

_ “Give me your miraculous and perhaps I will spare your puny lives!” _

_ But Ladybug doesn’t toss back a witty response, and instead growls.  _

_ “You’ll pay for that, damn you.” _

_ She advances, yoyo whipping around too fast to see. Tha akuma roars again, and rushes to meet her. _

_ They trade blows, scimitar and string clashing. Ladybug has abandoned all her usual graceful attacks and is instead, for lack of better description, ruthlessly beating the shit out of the sword-bearing villain. A few moves later and the medallion at his neck is crushed, and the fluttery little butterfly dispatched. _

_ “Miraculous Ladybug!”  _

_ Not stopping to glance at the confused man on the ground, she races to Chat Noir, who is still lying limp on the ground.  _

_ “Chat, Chat, wake up, wake up  _ please _ , Chat-” _

_ His eyes cracked open, and he looked up at her, confused. _

_ “Did we win?” he rasped. _

_ “Yeah,” she whispered, blinking away little tears that mixed with the blood and grime that the Cure hadn’t cleaned. “Yeah, we won. Just like always.”  _

_ His abdomen was still open and mangled, but she could see the skin stitching itself back together. These things took time. _

_ “Come on, kitty, let’s get you somewhere safe,” she said, pulling his arm around her shoulders so he could stand.  _

_ “Okay-” he broke off with a rough cough, squeezing a little blood out, which spattered on the pavement. _

_ This’ll be another scar. _

-[]-

No one bothered the two of them. The car was oddly silent as the landscape outside raced past. Adrien stared blankly out the window, watching the French countryside. He was hyperaware of the air through his nose. 

In and out. In and out. 

His chest rose and fell with every breath, and he could feel the soft cloth of his shirt moving with it. 

The beating of his heart echoed in his ears. 

He looked back down to Marinette, her cheeks flushed with color, her lashes fluttering a little in the movement of his breathing. 

Her face screamed life, living, flourishing. He could feel her heart too, beating against his chest, her breath whooshing in and out between her barely parted lips.

Her lips pulsated with the blood that flowed beneath them, circulating with every beat of her heart.

Everything about her is alive. The way she ought to be, the way they both ought to be.

-[]-

_ The circle of destruction surrounded them.  _

_ “What a terrible way to end our Senior Year, M’Lady.” _

_ “Au Contraire, Minou. I think defeating Papillion is an excellent way to go out with a bang.” _

_ “If the Princesse insists,” Chat panted, turning his bright green gaze back to the yawning catacombs that had opened before them following his most recent Cataclysm.  _

_ They’d tracked Papillion to the Agreste Mansion. Chat Noir knew the only way in would be with some supernatural force.  _

_ “Come on, kitty. Let’s get this over with,” Ladybug said, wiping the blood from her neck. Papillion had struck her behind the left ear with his cane-thing before he turned tail.  _

_ “Agreed, LB,” he said.  _

_ They advanced down the gaping tunnel until it opened up to a yawning cavern, topped off with a butterfly window.  _

_ Green and blue eyes fixed on the man in violet standing directly below the window. Behind him lay a sprawling garden, and some gold capsule.  _

_ “We’ve got you now, Papillion!” Chat Noir yelled, his voice echoing. _

_ A low chuckle. _

_ “Not quite yet. You see, I haven’t explained my motives yet,” he stepped aside to reveal the open capsule. _

_ The open casket.  _

_ Ladybug turned to look at Chat Noir as a strangled gasp erupted from his throat at the sight.  _

_ “Chat, it might be a trick. What are you-” she stopped when she saw Chat’s eyes brimming with tears, his lips drawn back in a feral snarl. _

_ “You think this is a game?” he growled to Papillion. The man only laughed, and shook his head.  _

_ “Hardly, M. Noir. You see,” he gestured to the blonde woman lain pristinely in the casket. “I just want my wife back.” _

_ Chat Noir stopped in his tracks.  _

_ Ladybug laid a hand on his arm, but he shook it off.  _

_ “Father?” _

_ The broken whisper echoed around them. _

_ Papillion smiled. _

_ “You- you took everything from me! EVERY-” Chat’s eyes blew wide. “You…” _

_ Ladybug whipped her gaze from Chat Noir to Papillion frantically. “W-what is-” _

_ “YOU TOOK EVERYTHING!” Chat Noir roared. Then he launched himself at the figure backlit with butterflies.  _

_ “ _ **_CATACLYSM!_ ** _ ” _

_ “CHAT-” _

_ But it was too late. Chat Noir struck Papillion full force and knocked him back into the casket. His body was already disintegrating, his mouth open in a silent scream.  _

_ Impact. _

_ Chat stumbled back as Gabriel Agreste shoved his sword-tipped cane into his chest. His fingers turned to dust around the handle as the cane slipped deeper inside Chat. He must have been screaming too, but he couldn’t remember.  _

_ The ashes of the dead man coated and filled the inside of Emilie Agreste’s coffin. _

_ Chat Noir lay spread-eagled in the dust with Papillion’s last gift jutting from his chest. Every breath rattled, and he felt like he was breathing underwater. Blood bubbled from his lips and popped, dribbling down his face from every available orifice.  _

_ Ladybug hunched over him, but the blackness encroaching on his vision kept him from seeing her as clearly as he’d like to.  _

_ Papillion’s weapon must have had some magic to it, because no normal stab wound could make him feel like his whole being was going up in flames. _

_ He just needed to see her smile one last time, to let him know they’d won. Cause they always win. _

_ They’re Ladybug and Chat Noir. _

_ But what’s a Ladybug without her Chat? _

_ Ladybug watched the life leave Chat’s eyes, watched and cried. It had been too fast, the wound from a miraculous weapon untouchable by her Cure.  _

_ All she can do is cry, is to be with him as his lifeblood runs out upon the stone.  _

_ He’s dead. _

_ She can’t do this without him. _

_ She can’t she can’t she can’t. _

_ He’s her kitty, her minou, her knight in shining armor.  _

_ Her Adrien. _

_ She can’t do this without him. _

_ So she won’t.  _

_ The cane thrust into her own chest is cold, like ice spreading through her veins. She curls beside him and pulls his lifeless arms around her, so they die together. _

_ Locked in an eternal embrace, dead-cold lips to dead-cold lips. _

_ She can’t do this without him. _

-[]-

The train jerks, and Marinette starts awake. 

“Adrien?” she yawns, then turns to look up at him with sleep-heavy eyes. “Are we there yet?”

“We’re getting close, Mari,” he mumbled. “They’ll be on the announcements in a minute, I think.”

_ “Good morning, passengers, this is your conductor. In a minute here we’ll be crossing the French-Belgium border. _ ”

Marinette turned to look up at him, blue eyes questioning. 

“Will we pass, do you think? Get to go on our trip like we ought to have?”

Adrien buries his face in her hair and whispers, “I sure hope so. I’m getting a little tired of living this over and over.”

“Silly kitty, I’m sure we’ll get it right soon. Then we can keep moving.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” she murmurs. They curl around each other like they did in those final moments of natural life, their hands interlocking, foreheads touching.

Around them, everything slowly begins to fade to white. 

“I love you. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Then it’s all gone. And they are alone.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Marinette, do you have everything you need?” Mme. Cheng bustled around Marinette’s room, scanning nooks and crannies for anything her daughter had forgotten.

“Yes, Maman,” Marinette called from downstairs.

_ No, Maman. I don’t have everything I need. I need my partner. I need to figure out what we’re doing wrong so that we can move on from this world, this loop.  _

_ I’m so tired, Maman, more tired than you could ever imagine. This is the one thousand two hundred and thirty-seventh time I’ve answered that question incorrectly. _

_ I’ve forgotten how to live, Maman. _

_ I’ve forgotten how to live without him. _

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone reading this is struggling, just know that you're not alone.   
> None of us are truly alone, and there is always someone out there who cares about you.   
> Comment with encouraging words if you went through this and came out on the other side, sword swinging.   
> You're not alone, and there are people out there who have gone through bad times too.   
> That's what we're all here for, right? To support each other.  
> Keep fighting, all of you.


End file.
